It has happened to all of us. We make a remark or someone says something to us that we know there just is no answer that would suffice. No retort or snide remark could ever do it justice. Ah, but its tempting to want to try! I've collected a few of these to share.
Now granted, this happens to everyone in every culture. No matter what you look like, what schooling you've had or what your world view is. This kind of stuff goes on all the time. Since I live in Kenya, mine just happen to come from here.
In a restaurant:
Jon to waiter: We'd like fish and chips please.
Waiter: Okay, we don't have any chips.
Jon: Well, just bring rice with the fish.
Waiter: Okay, so you want to cancel the chips?
In the grocery store:
Me to shelf stocker: Can you check the price on this-there is no price on it.
Shelf stocker, taking the item: So you want to buy it?
On the streets talking to a hawker:
Me: That price is too high, I can't pay that.
Hawker: So, how much do you want to pay?
On the phone-
Me: Hello, I would like to cash a check for $_________, when can I come up?
Cashier: So, you want cash?
Jon, to the guy at the petrol station: Can you write me out a receipt?
Clerk after writing out the receipt: You want to go with this receipt?
Me, in a bookstore: Do you have Elie Weisel's NIGHT?
Bookstore clerk: Is it a book?
After listening to an extremely long diatribe from a lady at the gate who had a myriad of problems plaguing her...
Jon: I am so sorry!
Lady: very vaguely : About what?
Jon to a driver who was driving straight for us on our side of the road, then turned out of the way at the very last minute: What are you doing on my side of the road?
Driver: Oh, but you see, I honked at you!
Lady we know: So I need you to give me money so I can plow.
Jon: Do you have money for seeds?
Lady, surprised: No!
Jon to a store clerk: Do you have brown sugar.
Clerk, looking at him like he had lost his mind: All our sugar is brown!
This one from someone we know...
"Where do you keep the ice?"
And this last one...my bad.
Brenden, showing me his swollen eye: Look what a bee did!
Me: Did it sting you?
If any of you have some of these kinds of quotes...write them in! I'd love to read them!
This happened to me today (e-mailing back and forth with a teacher):
ReplyDeleteTeacher: Like last year, for MLK Jr. Day we would like to show a video of the "I Have a Dream" speech. We have it on VHS, though, is that okay?
Me: Not a problem, we will hook up a VCR to the projector for you.
Teacher: Can the VCR be hooked up to the projector?
I then proceeded to make my hand to my head...ugh!
I meant "smack my hand to my head".....it's been a long day!
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